Nearella Two Point Oh
by omgpotatochips
Summary: Once upon a time, in a faraway land, a noble couple had a child. He was very beautiful, and they named him Nearella. Revision of a fic from 2007; taking this seriously may have dire consequences.


**Welcome to Nearella 2.0. Back in 2007, I posted a story titled "Nearella," and this is the revised and much wittier version. The original is gone now, because I'm sure that nobody remembers it anyway. Please enjoy this version.**

**So, this is where the story begins:**

Once upon a time, in a faraway land, a noble couple had a child. He was very beautiful, and they named him Nearella. Why would they name their kid that, you ask? Fucked if I know, because it's actually a pretty dumb name. But back to the story.

Nearella had curly white hair and flawless pale skin. The couple fawned over this amazing child, and he soon became a handsome and quite fabulously albino young man. Through both good and bad times, Nearella remained cheerful (or whichever faces he could show with his limited expressions).

So, tragically, Nearella's mother became very ill. She was bedridden for a long time, and soon died. Though Nearella was very sad, he tried to remain cheerful so his father would not feel as guilty. It must have worked, for he soon re-married to some blonde bitch he found on the street. This new, possibly prostitute wife was horribly mean to Nearella, though his father did not seem to notice. That woman must have been good in bed or something, 'cause Nearella couldn't fathom why his dad would marry such a slut.

Along with a bitchy stepmother, Nearella also got two equally mean stepbrothers, Mello and Matt. It's assumed that they were scooped off of the sidewalk as well.

The two (well, mostly Mello) took away all of Nearella's beautiful clothing, making him wear rags. They made him do all of the chores and never allowed him to have any fun, which usually consisted of beating the hell out of eachother. Nearella didn't mind, but.. you know. Being left out isn't cool.

One day, the semi-handsome prince L decided to have a ball.

At said ball, he was to choose a partner, and everyone in the land was required to attend. Nearella wanted very much to go to the ball, but alas--his stepbrothers would not allow him. "You have chores to do," hissed Mello as he flipped his blonde hair. "And you don't even have any clothes to wear! Do you expect them to let you in dressed like that?"

.."Yeah, what he said," Matt muttered, not really caring if he won the prince's heart, or whatever. He'd rather stay home and win the heart of Heather Mason.

"Please, can't I do my chores later?!" Nearella begged (he ultimately ignored Matt), staring up at Mello with teary eyes. Or something. I'm not sure if he has the ability to cry, and if there really were tears in his eyes, it was probably because Mello smelled really bad. "And.. I.. I can get clothes! I have some! S-somewhere.."

Mello knew he was lying and smiled evilly.

"Besides, everyone in the land is required to attend!"

Mello hmph'd like the bitch he was and thought about it. "Five minutes," he stated. "You have five minutes, and then we're leaving, with or without you. Come on, Matt." And with that said, they walked out of the room, leaving Nearella wide-eyed and alone.

He immediately began to search for the clothes they had stolen from him, opening drawers and closets and even looking under their bed. Realizing that they had already left, Nearella collapsed to the floor and wept. I guess it was actually allergies.

"Don't cry, Nearella!"

With a gasp, Nearella quickly wiped away his tears and looked up. "Who.. who are you?" he asked, dumbstruck.

"Why, I am your Fairy Godmo..Father... I am a fairy come to assist you," the mysterious man said. "My name is Roger."

Nearella slowly stood up, examining the man's strange attire. He had wings, and a wand!

"Are.. are you a pedophile?" he asked, completely doubting that this man was a fairy.

Roger's eyes widened, and he shook his head. "Oh, no, of course not, Nearella!" he said. "I.. I just get paid for this. So. You want to go to Prince L's ball, don't you?"

Nearella nodded slowly. "But.. I have no clothing, and chores to do," he replied sadly, staring down at the rags he was wearing.

"Bring me a pumpkin, and two rats!" Roger yelled, and Nearella stared at him.

"Why...?" he asked, tilting his head a little.

"Just do it!" Roger commanded, and Nearella nodded. When a guy in a tutu tells you to do something, you better goddamn do it.

So, though the rats were hard to catch and smelly, Nearella was able to bring back what Roger asked him to. Even the fucking pumpkin. Do you know how hard it is to find a pumpkin? Nearella had to run like a mile to find the damn thing.

They stood outside, Nearella utterly confused as Roger waved his wand. No, not that wand.

The pumpkin became a carriage, and the rats became beautiful white horses! And then one pooped.

Nearella stared in awe, looking from the carriage to Roger. "B-but what about my clothing? I have nothing to wear!" he frowned, hoping he would not be sent to the ball in such ragged attire. He wants to look like a fancy ho, dammit, not a cheap one.

Again, Roger waved his wand. Nearella's dirty clothing turned into a lovely white dress, and glass slippers adorned his feet! Shit was uncomfortable as hell. Nearella was too shocked to realize that he was in girl's clothing, and quickly thanked Roger.

"Now, Nearella, I must warn you," said the Fairy Godsomething. "At midnight, your clothing will return to rags and the carriage and horse will turn back into what they were before. You must come back by then."

Nearella thanked Roger again and climbed carefully into the carriage. "Oh! Wait! What about my chores?" he asked, now feeling a bit guilty. If those chores weren't done, then he'd be in huge trouble.

"I'll take care of them," Roger said, and motioned for him to go. So he went, despite the lack of a driver for the carriage. It was a rather bumpy ride, but he made it. So it's all good.

As he walked into the castle's entrance, Nearella finally realized that he was wearing a dress and cursed himself for not noticing. With a small sigh he prepared himself to enter the ballroom, and everyone immediately turned to watch as the beautiful boy arrived.

Prince L sat at his throne, utterly bored with everyone at the ball. As he looked up and say Nearella walk in, he was bored no longer.

"The boy in the dress!" the prince excalimed, his thumb pressed to his lips and a smile on his face. "He is beautiful! Watari, I think I've found the one."

His older male companion simply nodded. He's not much of a talker, unless it's around that Soichiro Yagami guy. What a fox.

Prince L immediately stood up and walked over to Nearella. "You are incredibly beautiful," he said, eyes connecting with Nearella's. "Would you like to dance?"

.."Um.. y-yes," Nearella answered, a slight blush showing on his cheeks. Or maybe it was just his pink albino skin.

Mello was furious! So furious, in fact, that he dropped the chocolate bar he was eating. And it got all germy, so he didn't want it anymore.

"Uh.. Mello, you dropped--" Matt began, stating the obvious. He paused as a pretty blonde girl (hey, she's a dead-ringer to his favorite Silent Hill protagonist) caught his eye, and he quickly walked away from Mello to talk to her. Mello paid no attention to Matt or the girl, only watching as Nearella and Prince L danced. He hoped that Nearella would get tripped and faceplant on the fancy marble floor.

The night continued, and about half the people left because they realized that they probably didn't have a chance against the strange crossdressing albino boy. The girl Matt was talking to also left, leaving Matt to pout and lean against a wall until he saw another one he liked.

Prince L and Nearella continued to dance, Nearella not noticing the time. His eyes strayed from the prince's for just a moment and he looked up at the clock, his eyes widening when he saw the time. There were only two minutes until midnight!

"I.. I have to go," he said quickly, skirts in hand as he ran down the steps.

He nearly tripped (so close to a faceplant!) as one of his glass slippers fell off his foot, but he continued to run. "Wait!" Prince L yelled as he tried to chase Nearella. "I.. I haven't even asked your name yet!"

But he was gone, leaving the prince to walk sadly back up the steps. Something glittered in the corner of his eye, and he turned his head to see what it was. "A glass slipper!" he cried as he picked it up. "I may be able to find him again!"

---------------

The day after the ball, Prince L sent out one of his servants with the glass slipper. He was to go to every house and see if the slipper would fit anyone.

The servant soon grew tired, and frowned as he thought that the slipper was too small to fit anyone. He reached the last house, sighing as he knocked on the door.

A suspiciously evil-looking stepmother opened the door hesitantly, a frown on her face. She quickly smiled when the servant explained what he was doing at her door and let him in. Was Mello going to be a princess?

"Mel-lo! Ma-att!" she yelled, her voice echoing as the two boys walked down the stairs. Mello recognized the clothes of the man and walked quicker.

"Ah.. ah, what is it, mother?" he asked, smiling innocently at the Prince's servant. Matt yawned and walked away as the servant explained what he was there for. Where were those M & M's he found earlier? Jesus Christ.

Mello smiled as soon as the servant finished explaining the shoe. "It.. must have fallen off of my foot when I was leaving," he said, acting like he'd be dumb enough not to notice. But the shoe did not fit his foot, and he frowned.

"Do you have no more children?" the servant asked, though he knew that asking was pointless.

"N-no.. er... I do have one, but he couldn't have possibly been at the ball last night," the stepmother answered nervously, and the servant looked around. Nearella immediately caught his eye, humming as he scrubbed the floor.

"Ah, he must try on the shoe anyway," the servant said, and Nearella looked up.

"Me?" he asked, the boy in plain dirty clothing with hands aching from all of the chores.

"Yes, you. Come try it on," the servant answered, getting a little impatient.

"Okay," Nearella answered, smiling as he stood up and walked towards them.

It was a perfect fit! Party hard!

The stepmother was shocked and Mello thought he was going to cry. The servant was just relieved that he had finally found the right person, and nobody really knew where Matt was. Nearella was overjoyed.

---------------

Prince L stared out the window. "Oh, I hope we find him," he sighed, waiting for the carriage with the beautiful boy he had danced with the night before to show up. He nearly jumped from his seat as he saw it, smiling big as he watched the boy climb carefully from it and onto the ground. He faceplanted as he tripped on the final step.

After being helped, Nearella walked into the room quietly. Prince L practically tackled him. "I'm so glad to have found you again!" he exclaimed, hugging Nearella close. "Please, tell me your name!"

"Um.. my name.. is, um, Nearella," the confused boy replied, slowly hugging back.

The two soon got married. It was even grander than the ball, and Nearella didn't have to crossdress this time. But Prince L did, and it was awkward as hell.

So, tl;dr.. they lived happily ever after.

The end.


End file.
